i love it when people misspell bawling and say that they’re “balling their eyes out” like ball so hard my motherfuckin eyes came out
Anonymous: One time i went to olive garden with my mom and she told me she was alcoholic and then the next time we went she told me that she was divorcing my dad
KID : mommy, i cant sleep, there's a monster under my bed
MOM : that's silly, theres no such thing as mo- OH GOD ITS TEARING MY ARM! Just kidding, he only eats kids, goodnight!